311209

Well, today's the last day of the year...

ok I'm not gonna make this post an emo one... =.=

2009 has been a great year, well at least nothing bad happened.

So what's next year's resolution???

Hm...

Actually I don't really make resolutions and say I have to do this, this, this, and this... It's kinda like just doing what comes your way and as long as everything goes well at the moment, then I'm happy. Of course I want my studies to go well and gotta take care of my health... >_< very very important.

College will be starting next Monday...then its back to the books...haihzzz and the whole cycle starts again... I don't even know what to write anymore...

~

~

~

Why is GD shedding tears? ? ? ?

Big Bang's G-Dragon has sparked up curiosity among many because the leader shed tears during the performance of his hit single, Heartbreaker at the 2009 SBS Gayo Daejun for reasons still unknown.

Big Bang's agency, YG Entertainment, spoke up about the incident during a phone call with Me2day Star News today on December 30. The representative said,
"There is much speculation about this issue, but only G-Dragon knows what happened during the stage performance. Today, G-Dragon and the other Big Bang members left for Japan to receive a newcomer award. The only way we can find out about why he teared during his stage performance is to confirm with G-Dragon himself as soon as he comes back from Japan."

*Hope he feels better now ^^*

Anyway, Happy New Year 2010 & Adios 2009~

Happy New Year GD, XD

~_~

I've always wondered about this book where you can see your past, present and future life -3 lives. It is suppose to tell you what were you and what have you done in your past life and how it affects your present self. It tells you your current life and what will happen to you in perhaps 10, 20 or 30 years down the road. Will you succeed in life? At what age will you marry, or maybe you might not marry at all~ etc. The book says it all. I'm not sure about how it will tell you your future life, because I believe what you do now in this life affects your next life, people call it Karma -The Law of Cause and Effect. So I don't know how it can really 'confirm' how your future life will turn out to be, but one thing's for sure, this book is pretty accurate.

According to my mom you can go to the temple and see it once you turn 21(chinese age), so I can actually see mine by the end of next year. =/

My mom definitely wants to go see it, lol but I'm not really sure about it. >_< What if it says that something bad might or worse...WILL happen to me in future? I don't wanna live my life for the next ten years or so knowing that this particular 'thing' will happen to me one day. What if it says I'll die at --- age? or What if it says I'll suffer from some really terrible sickness one day and just...~ CHOI, TOUCH WOOD! Of course, nobody wants all these things to happen, we're all just human and not exempted from life, death and sickness. I am afraid of all those...but what's the point knowing that all those things will happen to me one day? Can't I just live my life happily without knowing all those things? XD Let's just say that ignorance is bliss~

If the book says good things then of course it's alright, but what if...it doesn't? What if it says that my future won't be like a bed of roses? I know life is definitely NOT a bed of roses and I know so far, throughout these 19yrs of my life, I've been living a perfectly happy life...it's like the path has been planned and laid out perfectly for me. All I have to do is to just walk along the path. I am very very lucky indeed to have been blessed with such a good life and I am very grateful to my parents and family for all of it. I realised I have been very lucky compared to many of my friends. I have what I want (well not everything, but I'm satisfied with what I am and what I have now) and life definitely have ups and downs. Well, since I consider this as my 'up', then when is my 'down'? There has to be a time for it. >_<

Life can't be all smooth sailing. I know there will be a time for it when I've to learn to do things on my own and without the support of my parents. But am I ready for all of those? I really really doubt that. Sometimes I really do think I'm that vulnerable. Sighs... I know myself and I'm pretty sure there's gotta be something for me to endure in future. I'm not being a pessimist, but life can't be all perfect for me right?

2009~

2009 is coming to an end, what have I been going through this whole year? Well there are ups and downs. Good months and bad months, happy moments and angry moments.

JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH, APRIL, MAY- was all smooth sailing, had classes and breaks as usual...nothing big has happened. I can conclude that the first half of the year was good and nothing really gone wrong, though there were some occasional bad weathers.

JUNE- ACCA exams...stress level has reached its maximum for all of us.

JULY, AUGUST, SEPTEMBER- Things happened here and there, but still it was all ok (I guess...) Loads of birthday celebrations around the corner, ie time to be broke, LOL. But still it was all fun and the year end is drawing closer...which means exams are much nearer and the term is gonna end soon, and you'll see people leaving once again =(

The month of OCTOBER- the month where there were so many things going on. First of all, its my birthday...so yeah, I should be happy of course...and also its the month where my anger has peaked.

I'm also thankful to my friends for making my day a blast...I really appreciate all of that.

On the other hand, not so thankful to a certain someone, who practically RUINED my birthday! It's my birthday and you spoiled it all!!! I really really wanna not see you, but ended up I had to face you for the whole day (as if the daytime celebration wasn't enough =.=) Errghh...my temperature was seriously boiling like mad and I've been tolerating you for such a freaking long time. I had to suppress everything down and tell myself nevermind, nevermind, gonna reach home soon...gonna reach home soon...

I was so freaking mad will I had to wash my hands with Dettol the minute I reach home. It made no sense as it could not remove whatever that has happened but I still did it anyway. Who are you anyway? Who are YOU???? You're like my nobody ok, and you DO NOT question me as to why I'm back home late from my aunty's house. Hello! Let me repeat my question: WHO ARE YOU???!!!

And YOU THINK 4 MONTHS IS SO SUPER DUPER GREAT?

*CALM*

Ok, you do not have the right to do that and that too, and you never ever will, got that?

I don't like show-offs who think that they're so super duper great and they can get what they want and will do whatever possible to get it. You think you're so good? Once again, I'm not some prize to be won, so stay out of my life!

 *CALM*

But anyway I'm glad this nightmare is over...and you had no idea how immensely relieved and de-stressed I was at the end of the month. No more worrying that you're gonna disturb me while I was studying, cause I have to freaking hard control the urge to cancel your call or ignore it.

Ok, Ok calm....I'm sorry if I sounded insulting but that was just a tiny bit of how I felt about this matter, and now its all over...=) To the person whom I don't have any feelings for from the very beginning, please don't do this to me. Thank you very much. =.=
Anyway, all this is just another experience and lesson to be learned. As they say, before you can see the rainbow, you must first survive the storm.

And anyway October month is Halloween =) One of my favourite holidays as a kid, LOL. I love Halloween XD

 NOVEMBER- Em, yeah exams are this much closer and I'm definitely getting back to my normal me. LOL. Stressed up, day and night studying...trying very hard not to get sick during exams >_< Also this is when I got so crazy into Big Bang and G-DRAGON~ Started liking everything Korean...and I was really really really crazy. All my blog posts were on GD =.= Well, at least it's something to keep me entertained while I'm studying. Haha~ November should be GD Mania Month. XD You're ma heart, heart, heart, heart, heart~breaker...^_^

DECEMBER- Exam month once again. I'm always so jealous because school children are busy holiday-ing while we're busy fighting a war here. =.= But then again, we've all been through that stage, so...yeah. Many things have happened and as I've reached the end of yet another year, I realised that I've learned a lot of new things throughout these 12months. Hm I think I've definitely matured a little? LoL. I knew a lot of things now which I didn't realise back then. I'm glad these 12months turned out to be one hell of a great experience for me and I'm thankful to have been given the chance to live, in order to see all of this.

HAPPY 2010~ ~ ~!

SDD

Wow, I didn't know the holidays could be super duper depressing...
I'm practically rotting away at home with nothing to do, and nothing to think of.
@_@
Probably cause we've been studying so much before this and now when we're left with absolutely nothing to do, this is what becomes of me. =.=
I'm very extremely, super super super duper, BOREDDDD...
I know, this is so typical...
and I'm not the only one complaining...lol
I have like only one more week of holidays left, and so far, I've done nothing.
I really feel like this term break is going to waste...
True, I haven't been using my brain a lot lately lol, but having not to use my brain makes me feel as if everything is moving so slow around me...
Time passes so slow, cause I've nothing to do...so I've actually been able to keep a detail track of time.
I was so bored till I've actually decided to dig out some of my old cross stitch stuff and start on one. =.=
But I stopped halfway cause the colour combination I used wasn't able to attract me to continue stitching...
Haha~
And I actually have time to blog everyday...this shows how much free time I have. XD
I have all the episodes of  宮心計, but I'm just too lazy to start watching...haha~
Ridiculous right?
Gosh I need to get a life man...=.=||

After 2yrs XD

Haha~ finally after nearly 2years, my mom allowed me to touch her car.

=.=

LoL went for laksa during lunch somewhere near Bougainvillea club and after that I was like 'Eh, let me drive la, let me drive la...'

Since that area hasn't got many cars, she allowed.

=.=

LOL the last time I was allowed to touch the car was the first time I drove it, and that was last January...on the day I earned my P licence. XD

I drove the car back home from college and my mom was like freaking out beside me all the way home, imagine that. I didn't know how to adjust the speed cause the car was so much heavier, break pun tak tau, didn't know how to estimate the distance, etc. From that day onwards, my parents forbid me to touch the car. +__+

Haih~ it was that terrible back then...lol.

 Finally I managed to convince her to let me drive the car back home today, haha~

First and biggest mistake I made -forgot to release hand break.......

god...

(=_=)V

 When we got home, I asked 'Not as freaky as last time right?'

She was like 'Yeah...=.='

LOL this time it was way better I felt. Next time Imma get her to let me drive more, muahahaha~

25th Dec

Thoughts&Opinions

I've just deleted my last post which I wrote last night xD
Now when I'm reading it back, I felt that it was super emo...lol
And I don't think that way anymore, so I felt that the post wasn't relevant anymore, haha.
*delete*
I realised I've been thinking so much since I've started reading MAFM, WAFV. Girls by nature think a lot, and they think and think and think. @_@ One thing leads to another and to another. So its like a never ending thread I would say? LoL. The more I read, the more I think and the thread begins. So I'm kinda in a well now, haha. It's neither one's fault, it's just natural. So I'm just expressing how I feel here, without the intention to blame anyone XD.
Ok, ignore me, I'm crapping =.=
Reading this book makes me think of stuff which I've never even bother to give it a thought before and I'm definitely learning a lot from it. It's been my companion for the past couple of days and keeps me occupied. Enjoyed reading it at the same time makes me realise stuff which I've been ignorant of before this.
I would really recommend it to everyone cause if every guy and girl in this world knows about all these things, there would be less one break-up/divorce happening. Arguments and misunderstandings are bound to happen -it's inevitable but with this book, it helps to reduce the possibility of arguing over differences between men and women.
Holidays are coming to an end soon >.<
And I felt as if I haven't been able to enjoy it fully. Yes I do hang out with my friends once in a while, but somehow something is lacking...need to experience something more...er...'chi gik' XD haha and when I mean 'chi gik' obviously not stuff like mountain climbing and bungee jumping =.=
I'm afraid of heights....
>.<

Diary-ing about A Diary

Haha, I've gotta be out of my mind...
Here I am lying on my bed on a lazy Wednesday afternoon, reading some stuff I've just wrote way back last year. I end up giggling and laughing all to myself! LoL imagine that.
Those were stuff written at the beginning of the beginning and more than a year has gone now. After reading it back, I laughed at myself while reminiscing all those times.
Funny how amusing old diary entries can be when you read them back and I do enjoy going through them. I've realised that I do find pleasure in few but nice & sweet tiny, trivial matters. Small things do matter a lot- proven to be a true fact, by MAFM, WAFV and myself lol.
WoW, I've just read a super emo-ed entry, which I nearly did cry at that time...well you can say I was almost at the edge of tears while I wrote that. I admit I am a very emotional person TT__TT and when I really feel sad and down, I really gotta let it out somewhere either by telling it off to someone or writing it down. I can't just go on keeping everything bottled up and even if I do, my face will probably reveal it, Haha~

Well, hahahaha I'm reading yet another /zadou entry XD
LOLOLOL
....
Haha can't believing I'm laughing at myself right now. Felt kinda silly for writing all this, but yet it's really entertaining to be able to read back all these now. xD
I even Crtl+C, Ctrl+V-ed one of the quiz results I took...
=_=||

[PERFECT -Trustworthy and loyal. -Very passionate and dangerous. -Wild at times. -Knows how to have fun. -Sexy and mysterious. -Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. -Playful, but secretive. -Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. -Meets new people easily and very social in a group. -Fearless and independent. -Can hold their own. -Stands out in a crowd. -Essentially very smart. -If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.]

How many percent of this is true? Hm emotional and temperamental...really true...*nods head*
Fearless and independent? Haha don't think so...I am definitely NOT fearless...and NOT independent. How can I be fearless when I'm even afraid of a lizard? =.= -and I definitely haven't been able to fully overcome the fear of public speaking >_<
Independent? Don't think so too, cause I've been living with my parents for as long as I could remember, lol.

Haha anyway, back to reading after a long pause.
Omo omo omo omo...>.<
(Korean way of saying Omg?)
XD
Yesterday was the Winter Solstice Festival and tomorrow's Christmas Eve...and here I am rotting at home =.=
But at least I have a chance to relax and not use my brain for 2 weeks! LOL

Men=Rubber Band?

I've just read another topic from the book and it talks about how men's behaviour are similar to a rubber band. I've learned that we cannot always expect a man to be compassionate and loving all the time. He needs time for himself. Once more it is thanks to this book that I've discovered something which I didn't know last time.

In the past, I always thought I was right and I was the one who was the 'victim' and he was to be blamed. That was because I didn't know all this. I didn't realise that men too, deserve a time-out once in a while. While reading through this topic, I felt super guilty for treating him like that last time. Honestly at that point of time, I did feel hurt when the rubber band thing happened and I started blaming him, not knowing that it was not his fault too. It was just part of the cycle and it has to be this way. I wouldn't have done all those things if I had read this book earlier. I just didn't understand this last time, so each time this happened I started thinking what could be the problem? Why is he doing this?

A man would start to pull away when his intimacy level has peaked, and this so happens to be the time when the woman is finally feeling comfortable and is ready to give more of herself. So when the man pulls away suddenly, he often leaves the woman wondering why, why and why? But after a while he comes back and acts as if nothing has happened. Now this is something which still amazes me until now. How can he be so thick-skinned? LoL. From a woman's point of view, its like leaving the kitchen in the middle of cooking and when you come back, you expect everything to be taken care of while you were gone. (I'm not sure if this is a good representation of the situation but its the best that I could come up with XD). The guys very often expects everything to stay the same/ be at the same level where he had left previously, but the girl cannot do this because she has somehow been hurt by him pulling away all of a sudden without any reason. So when the guy happily comes back, he'd be shut off and forced  to stay in the doghouse, LoL.

Haha it was funny reading through this book and I find myself constantly 'Wow-ing' and Omg-ing upon discovering things which I've experienced before in the past and how I was able to relate to it and hope to be able to handle/cope this sort of things in future.

MAFM, WAFV

I've recently been reading this book, 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus'.

I was bored during the holidays, and thanks to Martian Ooi, I've found an interesting something to do these few days, LoL. I've really learned a lot from this book- things which I thought I knew before this, and things which I thought were problems weren't actually problems but are more of differences which arises due to the natural behaviour of both men and women. So thanks a lot for giving me this chance to better understand the opposite sex! xD -really appreciate it. This book tells us about what really goes on in relationships; differences that arises between the two sexes which often causes unnecessary misunderstanding and bickering between millions of couples in the world.

Why are couples always arguing? Why can't they get along well? Why do breakups happen due to the slightest misunderstandings? This is because most of us do not realise that men and women are actually from two totally different worlds. Things that are considered the norm in Mars aren't actually applicable in Venus. Infact almost everything works the other way round.

When men are facing problems, they tend to keep it to themselves and prefer to solve it by themselves. They want to be able to solve it by themselves if possible. That's why when they're in this kind of situation, they'd stay quiet for quite a while.

Women on the other hand likes to let everything out. They talk to other women about their problems and by doing so, it helps to make them feel better. For a women, it is only right that we listen and help our fellow Venusians solve whatever's bothering them. That is why a woman thinks its the right thing to do when their favourite Martian is facing a problem. But infact, it brings upon a counter-productive effect. The woman has the intention to help him (as it is a way of showing that she cares for him) but the man reads it like this 'You think I don't know how to handle this on my own. You think I'm incapable of solving even my own problems, then how are you going to trust me to handle even bigger matters in future?'

So, conclusion is that a man needs a woman's loving acceptance and not her advice or criticism. I've just realized this fact when I read this book and I believe that in the past, I've done similar mistakes too. I now know how it feels to a guy. In the past, I think it was last year, I made a big mistake by trying to offer advice and lending help to him, resulting in him turning away. I was sincerely trying to help out because that's what I'd do to other of my girlfriends and in return he backed out. Ended up, I got real mad for no reason and was disappointed in him. I thought he didn't care and I was not even worthy of giving advice. But now I know what's really been going on and I shouldn't have got mad last time and it was my mistake for not knowing this fact earlier. We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us, they will react and behave in certain ways we react and behave when we love someone.

The same thing goes when a women expresses what is bothering her to a man. He thinks she is expecting a solution from him, but most of the time, all she needs is for him to listen and pay attention to her. Remember, men wants to be trusted while women wants caring.

One more thing is that a man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or incompetent. In a relationship, its all about give and take. He may give more in certain aspects and less in other aspects, while she may help complete what is lacking. One does not have to be good in everything to think that he can only then be ready or good enough for her. Don't go try changing yourselves, just be who you are cause that's the reason you two fell for each other in the first place. Why force a change in yourself till it affects other aspects in your life?

So girls out there, just to reassure him from time to time, keep supporting him by showing your loving acceptance, show that you trust him, and always show your appreciation. Most of the time, women don't think of giving appreciation because they assume a man knows how much she appreciates. Well, this is what's in the book- He Doesn't Know! LoL. So, this is where communication comes in! ~

Ps. More to come in my next post, when I've read the other chapters...XD

I Knew I Loved You

This is an old song...but still, its a lovely song.
Heard it on the radio a moment ago, and somehow I've decided to post it here.
Really nice song /=)

Untitled

Exams are over already...

No more studying...
No more stress LoL
No more facing the book & grabbing a pen...
This has got to be the most relaxed feeling I've had since like I dunno when..
=.=

However, its always the usual 'omg-so-boring-cos-I-have-nothing-to-do-now' thing. It's so weird cause before this, it seems like you LIVE JUST FOR EXAMS. Now that its over, you're a floating soul with no purpose, LOL.
Anyway, I should congratulate myself for finally getting over with it at last, super relieved.
=_=
I don't even know what to write anymore...
Feel like changing my blog template again, but all my widget's gonna disappear! -unless I save them somewhere...
Haih~~~
What to do now?

What to do now?

What to do now?

What to do now?

What to do now?

Moving on...~~~

Hm GD...haih sad case...although his concert was a big hit, but he's currently under investigation due to the whole underage/minor thing. Poor guy, huge success always comes with consequences...
Album was a huge success but then due some of the words he used in the songs, his album is now only available to those above the age of 19. =.=||
And now, with this concert issue topping it up, the government might totally ban the album from being sold anymore...!
He's definitely getting a lot of bad press lately...A WHOLE LOT.

*Ok, I"ve decided, I'm gonna change the layout..lol*
Then, what else to do? Photoshop? =.=||
Boring~
Read twilight? LoL I've just got the whole set from my cousin.
Ok, that can be the next best alternative...
Hm, I wanna make the best out of this 3 weeks...well 2.5 to be exact, lol.
I'm not just gonna sit at home and rot till 4th Jan!
I wanna do something!!!
Gahhhh~~~!
Ok I don't know what to write anymore, so I shall put a fullstop here.

Tiger

Today while I was studying, my dad came and told me that the reason why my dog was barking so loudly this morning was because there was another dog somewhere along the back lane, and it attacked one of the cats. -and the cat died.
*Why didn't she run into the drain or something?!*

He shouldn't have told me while I was studying >.<
I was kinda fond of the back lane cats, cause my mom feeds them everyday. Although we don't really keep them as pets but they grew up in the backlane and wondered the streets in our area. They'd come for food like 2-3 times a day, lol morning & evening and my mom would feed them. Sometimes when I grew tired of studying in the evenings, I would go to the back and look at them play & laze around. I would even play with them sometimes.
Cute cats~ XD
One of the cats were attacked/chased by a dog (I don't know if its a stray) and I think it got bitten to death >.< I can't imagine how it would look like. I used to call her Tiger cause of the colour on the body which resembled a tiger...and she's got this little black patch just below her mouth which makes it look like her mouth is always open from far, LoL.
She used to be scared of me last time until recently. Haih~
Was feeling kinda sad...now the other cat (the mother) will be alone. They weren't my pets but still...

This is one of the old pics taken some time ago while she was still a kitten =)
RIP
>.<

*Tomorrow's my last and final paper. GAMBATEH!!!!*

Brainwashed

All of a sudden, I felt like I've just got brainwashed.
-I mean literally, brainwashed of everything...not studies, but rather my opinions, thoughts, things like that...
I think its the books that have finally gotten into me, till at one point, I actually asked myself this 'Why do I like GD so much??? Why do I like you so much???
LOL crazy right?
Its like I got BRAINWASHED totally.
At one point, I felt like nothing in this world mattered...
Its like, whatever lar~
Kinda like, my perceptions which I thought were true, suddenly changed.
I dunno how to explain but I just felt like I've got brainwashed.
@_@
Wow, its like deja-vu all reversed & upside down...
Sweat....I wanna have my old thoughts back...XD

RAWWRRR~

Might be on hiatus for a week or so...due to the exams...
Good luck to all my ACCA/CAT coursemates who will be sitting for their papers this round.
A bit worried, at the same time wanting to end this nightmare quickly.
Super duper exhausting when all you do whole day is wake up, float, study, eat, online, study, float, sleep...zzz
RAWRRR~~~
Let's face this thing together and win this war~
Failure- is not an option.

GD's 1st Solo Concert (5&6/12/09)

I am super freaking jealous of you people out there who are probably screaming and yelling your hearts out at the Seoul Olympic Stadium right now!!!!
ERRRGGHH!!!
I AM SO FRIGGIN JEALOUS!!!
Mark today's date; 5th December, and the time now is 6pm, which means its 7pm in South Korea!
G-Dragon's First Solo Concert is on RIGHT NOW!!!!
I can picture the stadium, filled with tons of screaming, wild fans waving huge banners and multicoloured neon lighted signs of G-Dragon. Crowds go wild as each second pass and right now, they're probably countdowning as its sharp 7pm now in Korea T__T
Or perhaps G-Dragon has already made his appearance and I swear there will be people going deaf in there.
How I wish I can be there....
Its his first ever solo concert....
My baby Jiyongie's first solo concert....
T_____T
I feel so alienated here, in my house, not knowing what's going on in that stadium!
I am so so so jealous!
Greening in envy!!!!
~~~
Ok, G-Dragon's probably out right now...I'm sure he won't make his fans wait. OH I can imagine the long tailing line outside the stadium since this morning itself. I'll bet there are also people camping right outside since last night itself. I'll have no trouble believing that.
Man, this is seriously heartbreaking...I can't go to his concert....
I feel so restless!
JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

Another GD Moment

Oh my gosh I'm just dying here, watching videos of G-Dragon!!!!
It's friggin killing me you know?!
The completely precious leader~
I've been watching videos of G-Dragon mainly since the past hour or two and I haven't been able to control myself since then...
I kept laughing and laughing and laughing so hard,
I kept smiling each time I see him smile,
each time he blushes & does the hand thing (ok, that was a little tiny weeny bit gay >.<)
Its like, 'OoooOoohh, hot hot hot...~'
Other than that hand-fanning thing, G-Dragon is nothing but perfection!
I literally melted while watching the video on this RadioBroadcast where G-Dragon called this girl who was suppose to be his girlfriend (she's not!) and OMFG the way he started the conversation, was like...gosh...if i were her, I would've just melted on the phone. His voice was so///em..'teh' in canto..LoL
And many other videos gosh, I don't wanna stop now, but I've gotta go study *sobs sobs*
Waaaa~ I don' t wanna study, I wanna be with my Jiyongie darling..wuuuu~~~
T___T
BYE~
*slowly drags herself off the laptop*